bluemagic, The other thing I'd do - *separate* from the birthday, is to start gently nudging him into inviting a friend here or there. Maybe start with a movie - those are the easiest thing (just my perspective, as the mom of a 14 year old ds who is still trying to navigate this same type of thing). Have him pick out a movie he wants to see, and then have him pick out a friend (or two friends if he wants) to ask, and have him ask. Offer up a reward if you need to, something to motivate him. Then take the kids and let him just do it and see that it will work out ok. I do believe that you can set something like this up and "make" him (in a gentle loving way) actually do it. It's not really any fundamentally different than the concept that you can tell him he has a chore to do - think of this as a chore that is building on a life skill.
I will have to think about opportunities for this. Marching Band in the fall provided some social activities that were student run. He really enjoyed being part of that.
I'm not sure about movies.. he just started to become interesting in watching movies again. During his pre-teen years he rarely watched movies as he thought movies aimed at kids were boring, wasn't interested in the action superhero movies that most preteen boys like, and wasn't mature enough to appreciate the oddball quirky movies that we usually watch. The only exceptions were HP & Lord of the Rings.
