Because she is working so far ahead, I don't see any way she can return to regular school after 8th grade, when the charter school stops (she will either have to be homeschooled or go to college early).
Have you looked into the options available in your local high schools? Options vary tremendously depending on where you live, but fwiw, in our area I've found that there tends to be more option for choice and flexibility with courses, schedules etc as students move into high school than there is in elementary school within our local public school district. Some of the things I would specifically look for are gifted-specific classes, area of interest programs within a high school (engineering program, for example, if your child is into engineering or arts if your child is interested in arts), taking classes part time at a local college, part-time homeschooling, online classes, charter schools etc. I'd also talk to the teachers at your dd's current school about what they think the options for your dd will be when she graduates from her current school.
Our EG ds will be entering high school next year, and my experience so far has been that I really didn't realize how many options were out there until I started seriously having to be faced with - he's going there next year and it's time to look. I did look earlier on and I believe that in our area, the options for flexibility in scheduling have grown quite a bit in just the past few years. Online classes in particular are growing. There is also a much broader span of classes available at the high school level than I had previously realized - while the class offerings may not be sky-rocketing him academically as quickly as he's capable of being advanced, they do offer him (in his area of interest) a good opportunity to expand his knowledge laterally.
She realizes that regular high school may not be an option and seems not to mind (I've told her she can go for social reasons if she wishes, but she seems uninterested so far).
FWIW, my kids have changed so much in the years between age 9 and age 12-14. While your dd may feel this way in a few years, it's also possible she might feel completely differently by the time she's needing to make actual decisions about high school. Do all you can in terms of research so that you know what options are out there, but I'd also not over-think it at this point - part of the "planning" process is most likely going to be following your dd's lead in terms of where she wants to be.
She just had a birthday and is miserable. She loves working ahead and being accelerated, but is unhappy about feeling like all of her friends are becoming teenagers and going through puberty. She has a few friends her age, but most are older (12, 13) and no longer interested in just doing childish things (like just playing outside and being silly). She feels like she is missing out on getting to be a child and having to grow up too fast; she didn't want to plan a birthday party.
I realize she's working ahead of grade level in school, but you've also mentioned that she's 9 years old and technically in 4th grade (with a grade skip). In our area, most 4th graders are 9 years old and 5th graders are 10 - so she must be in school with some children her age and just above her age (in her regular 4th/5th grade class). Does she have lunch/recess with her class? Does she participate in activities like music/pe etc with her class? Are the 12/13 year olds who are her friends kids she knows through her advanced studies at school or friends from somewhere else? If she's feeling like she's missing out on younger kid interests and play, can you find her activities or friends to hang out with outside of school? I am sorry - I'm just throwing out some random thoughts, so don't feel like you have to answer my questions
I can tell you that what you've mentioned is a concern that my friends who've had children go through one of our local multi-age classroom schools have mentioned as a challenge with grades 4-6 - the differences in emotional maturity, physical changes with puberty coming at different times etc. My older dd is in 6th grade, is not grade-accelerated, and has gone through puberty - and she still very much enjoys playing with her Barbies and other dolls and is in no way emotionally starting to think about boys etc - yet there is a huge range of social and emotional developmental levels among her same-age friends in her same school class.
I think part of it is that she is very worried about all of the responsibilities and big decisions of growing up; instead of being excited, she feels the weight of it.
What type of responsibilities and big decisions do you think she's worried about? I'd talk to her about her worries, but also talk to her about things she an look forward to.
Has anyone else dealt with this? I try to arrange for her to get to do things designed for kids her age as much as I can, but it doesn't seem to be enough. She also needs time with kids who "get" her, and that's really hard.
It's not going to be easy to find intellectual peers, but I'd keep trying, as well as keep trying to experiment with groups/activities etc where she can find peers with similar interests or who enjoy doing the same fun things that your dd enjoys. A short round of counseling might also help her with some of her worries. I also wonder, just a bit, if rather than worrying about high school options, it might not be worth thinking through her current school choice - maybe there's a better fit for *now* out there. It's wonderful that you've found an option for school that includes appropriately challenging academics, but it sounds like possibly the social aspect of school isn't really working out. I know this probably sounds counter-intuitive and may not be what you'd be happy with, but our EG ds has been in a small private school for late elementary and middle school and even though it's not a "gifted" school, it's been a wonderful experience for him. The overall academics are geared to be one year ahead of local public schools, subject acceleration is available, and teachers challenge students to go above and beyond as much as they can. What's really mattered the most, for our ds, though - is the social atmosphere. There are other gifted students there, kids who's parents wanted more than what the public schools had to offer. There are also kids there who are not gifted - but the cool thing is the size of the school and the philosophy of the schools mission and staff come together in a way that ds' social and emotional development has been nurtured and really come together in a way I don't think it would have in a different setting. So while he may not have reached college level courses yet even though he's capable of taking them, I feel like his development socially and emotionally was worth any academic trade-off. He can always catch up with a higher level course later on, but I feel that finding him a setting where he felt like he fit in socially gave him room for his self-confidence to develop in a way that will support him through high school and beyond.
For example, one concern about acceleration that I've seen is that others will be able to drive while the accelerated child can't. Has anyone encountered this sort of challenge?
I wouldn't worry about other kids getting drivers licenses first. This is going to happen anyway - not just due to differences in ages, but there are going to be some parents who don't let their kids start driving when they are legally old enough to learn, and there are going to be some kids who aren't ready. What usually happens is that your child will have chances to be driven places by other teens before they are old enough to have their own license. To be honest, I'm much more worried about letting my child ride in a car that another teen is driving than I am about having my kids get their licenses later than their friends
But that's just paranoid me
Good luck as you think through all of our options!
polarbear
