Also have to agree (as always) with HowlerKarma. I try hard to stick to the following...
Parent the child you have now, not the child you think you should have or wish you had.
I love my son dearly. Once I realized I needed to let go of everyone else's expectations and let go of the expectations I had not realized that I had, I felt much more comfortable in my own skin and I think my parenting improved. Not saying you have the same issues, but there is something freeing in taking parenting day by day, making sure you are really paying attention to the potentially asynchronous child you have at the time.
