So, first of all a brief intro (in bullet form):
* DH, just turned 11, PG, highly social, high-strung, perfectionist
* Tested at 7.5yo after a disastrous 1st grade year -
WISC IV, hit ceiling in several areas, decided against retesting with extended norms
* Attempted advocacy with neighborhood school ineffective. Got her into accelerated math and science magnet school (1 year advanced)
* Lasted two years, switched to brick and mortar homeschool school (real building with other students and teachers, but she's technically a homeschooler) where classes have broad age ranges
* Started midway through "4th" grade with mostly middle school academic classes (with age level fun classes). Currently in second year of middle school classes.
It's been a rocky road and I'm glad we're in a place that's good for her academically as well as emotionally. It's not perfect (she finds the atmosphere too relaxed and would like more rigor). The school doesn't give grades until high school, but we do in concert with teacher input, so she's held to standards -- which she likes. She's grown so much more comfortable with who she is (she used to hate it) and in being herself. And I see her more willing to work hard and actually working to learn stuff for the first time.
She's at the absolute low end of age bands for most of her core classes, but she's already been invited into a few out of band classes with special permission. I hope the school will remain flexible as she starts needing their high school level offerings. And the local community college will take students at 13 (with the expected hoops and bureaucracy) for joint high school / college. One of my colleagues' daughters did so, so I know it's possible.
Our biggest issue right now is us. We know it's better for her emotional and mental health to be able to work at her natural pace... not to be held back. But it's all coming at us really fast and I'm not sure how ready we all are. Can she take the workload? Is she mature enough?
She's expressed a strong interest (obsession?) in a particular early college program and we're supporting her dreams, even while we know that the program is only right for small number of kids. We never wanted to rush her. We always said it wasn't a race. But here we are, letting her set the pace, and it feels like racing.
Because at the same time she's just a little girl who has a hard time going to sleep and loves summer camp and gets so nervous about things. Who feels like she has to be extra mature in her classes because all the kids are older. Who asks us to push her in meeting her goals, but whom we don't want to push too much. Who still pouts at having to do chores or homework when her friends are calling.
I see a lot of posts here from folks with younger kids (and I wish I'd had that support then, when she was a baby we and we were at our wits end), but fewer from folks with older kids. So to those of you who do have preteens and young teens, can you offer any words of support or advice?
