"What's the outcome for a gifted child who (for financial/social/other reasons) remains in mediocre public school system, but participates in outside weekend gifted programs, private music, selected activities outside school. But remains in "boring" 6-hour a day school system where the goal and culture is sports and not about excelling in personal strengths and going to a good 4-year college. Emotionally and mentally, is child still feeling good at the end? Or disillusioned and frustrated?"
Of course it depends on the particular child. If you want examples, I was in the public system in a rural area, and had very little practice with real effort or studying before the last year or two of high school. But I'm obsessive enough and detail oriented enough it didn't take long to adjust to an ivy level of work. My parents were academically inclined and home life had high intellectual expectations. It all went just fine, I have an intellectually stimulating career. I don't feel my rural school experience scarred me.
There were some subtle things. One was that in college I could not take as many fun classes as some of my friends, because I came in with no AP type credits, and in fact a poorer understanding of some basic subjects. So I did have to work hard especially at the beginning. That was not so bad though because many students were in that boat.
Another issue was that later in life I see my husband continuing to deepen relationships with some of his high school friends (he went to a private prep school), but I now barely know my high school friends (some of whom were just as bright as me but culturally different). We have drifted apart because our lives took such different paths after high school.
Another thing that I notice about my cultural background in general is I think I am a little too used to poverty. I have a ingrained sense that I must be fine because I have a job and make more than minimum wage. I tend to give too much away because I don't value my own time/money etc. Kids in my high school didn't actually think about the future much at all and I heard only vague comments from teachers about working hard to get a good job, and so on. I knew I didn't want to stay in the small town, but had no idea what was outside of it.
I find my husband far better at working with my son's school than me. I have an ingrained lack of ability to affect the system that numbered me and shuffled me through, whereas he was groomed to politely and repetitively make his views known until he got results (and that was before leadership classes existed). I was amazed going to college just how adult like my classmates were, my friends and I in high school were content to be kids, to not affect anything greater than plans for the weekend.
Still, probably an interplay of background and personality in those latter items. A kid with a more driven or confident personality would maybe not have been affected that way. I also did not attend weekend or summer gifted programs or anything else where I met other academically minded kids.
