atleast according to their parents.
We strongly emphasize that modesty is a virtue in our family - the kind of modesty where you don't brag about how good you and your life are as compared to other people around you. We always laugh and shrug off any questions about our DS's achievements or abilities in social situations saying that he is a little boy being happy and having fun and going through life with curiosity and soaking up experiences like a sponge. We have not offered even a single bit of informaton on things that he seems to excel at so far.
We went to a party with kids who have known DS since birth - there were 24 kids - and each and every one of the parent was gushing endlessly about how extraordinary, special, talented or superior their child was. I kept hearing "genius", "natural athelete", "does everything better than his team mates", "future grandmaster", "piano virtuoso and future Carnegie Hall performer" etc etc - you get the idea. These are kids who are playing TBall and Soccer for the first time in their lives (no tournaments so far), been playing piano for a few weeks (no recitals, no auditions), going to overcrowded afterschool chess clubs (no tournaments, no USCF ratings etc). Nothing wrong with these kids being where they are in their sport or art or academics - they are all just 6 years old and have plenty of time to explore, grow, learn and flourish. But, does this level of success and progress warranty an hour's worth of animated discussion involving hyperboles? I would not even mention my child's musical aptitude if he had only 3 weeks of piano lessons under his belt. To me, my child is good at martial arts when he gets a black belt, not when he has gone to classes (not regularly at that) for 3 months. Michael Phelps is truly extraordinary as a swimmer - not a 6 year old wearing flippers and learning to float. As for basketball - too early to call a 6 year old with impulsive behavior on the basketball court a LeBron James in the making.
Which leads me to my question - does this kind of "bragging" act as a positive reinforcement to motivate these kids to go on to achieve above and beyond their abilities? And do parents who treat modesty as a value to be cherished and respected and tell their kids that they are capable of doing better and need to strive to be great do a disservice to their kids?
