I need advice & hope you personality experts (Kriston?) might be able to help.
'Neato's right; I was out of town. Sorry to abandon you in your time of need, cym. Though I must say that I don't think I can add much to what help you've gotten. (And I'm no expert on personality types--just interested and talkative!
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Yesterday he expressed interest in homeschooling for next year. I think it's because he wants to escape this enormous pressure he has imposed on himself. Anyone who knew him (his social persona) would be extremely surprised to think he'd want to homeschool. I actually started researching homeschooling last night because I worry about him. I remember a certain personality type was great in social settings, but felt exhausted afterwards and that's how he is. Any suggestions?
I think you're describing many of the "I" personality types, actually. It certainly describes me, as an INTJ. I'm highly social--no one would peg me as an introvert!--but I desperately need my alone time.
Frankly, I think any person who is near the I/E borderline is going to need a lot of social time *and* a lot of alone time, regardless of the other personality factors. When you hug that line, you have characteristics of both types.
And SPG makes an important point: even extroverts need alone time. It's a human need. It's just that the I's need more time alone than the E's and the E's sometimes need the time alone for different purposes than the I's. (For example, I's live more of an inner life and need the time to do that. E's are more externally driven, but even the most extroverted at least need time so they can concentrate on something hard for them and need time alone so they can plan social outings.)
If your DS is happy at the school otherwise, I think I'd suggest that the two of you work on getting him less responsibility there first, before making the plunge into homeschooling. Especially in those teen years, the social stuff tends to become very important very fast, and there's a decent chance he might regret his choice if he left a group setting at the start of puberty.
However, if HSing has been tempting him for a while, then I'd recommend looking into your local HS groups. A good one will make the social stuff easy; if there isn't a good one around, you might not want to look into HSing any further. Our group is really active and large, so I have no worries about the social scene for my highly social introvert. There's a good clump of nice kids right around my DS's age in our HS group, so between them and the kids in the neighborhood (who don't care at all that he homeschools), he gets what he needs. Our group even holds dances--including a homeschool prom!--every year for the high school aged kids, so they're not missing out on some of those adolescent touchstones. It's amazingly organized and cohesive and convenient.
I guess all of this is a long way of saying that I don't really know which personality type your son is, so you should probably give him the Meyers-Brigs to find out. (Probably you should give him both the adult version and the kid version, in fact, since your DS is right on the age break between the two. If the results differ, read both descriptions and pick the one closest to what you see and what he thinks is right.)
Then consider what would best solve his problem. I think HSing might solve it for him, but so might just standing up for himself at school. Learning to say "no" nicely is an important skill to learn. It might be one of the greatest things you can teach him!
So...I feel like that wasn't a very helpful answer. I certainly didn't really tell you what you asked for! Sorry! If you want to talk more, please let me know. I'll try to do better!
