I'm glad my ramblings could help - I wish I could spare every parent of a perfectionist the pain and anguish we went through while still at (pre)school.
I could recount endless stories of things like you mentioned to me where even in the conferences I would say "but he has been doing that since age 2" (or whatever) and I would just get that look.
It's only since pulling him out that I realised that it really doesn't matter what a school/family member/teacher/whoever sees - it only matters what HE sees or thinks about himself. And it sounds like your husband will need to realise that too - took me ages and I still sometimes struggle with this! even when they offered us a grade skip in an attempt to keep us in the school I was tempted to take it "to show them". DH pointed out to me that it was the wrong reason to accept and thats when we rather pulled him out
HUGS and best of luck!
