I am so sorry that you are going through this. When people find it hard to keep up with their gifted child for whatever reason or if their child tends to be less gifted or advanced than yours and the contrast is glaring or obvious (as in atheletics, verbal ability etc) then envy and jealousy gets thrown into the adult relationships and accusations of "hothousing" crop up as a way of making the accuser feel better about themselves.
In my case, I grin and nod like an idiot when relatives or friends with gifted kids cross question me. And I change the topic to focus on their kids. And I sometimes use humor to answer back when pinned to a spot - like "My son is as smart or as dull as I am because of the genetics he got from me!". I only interact with these parents about mundane things like eating habits, school timings, sleeping habits etc and am very careful not to "leak" information about my child's advancement in academics or extra curriculars because I do not want to be subject to gossip or envy and I do not want my child to overhear other people talking about us trying to hothouse him at any point. I never, ever share his IQ testing information or his accomplishments.
I share all the successes and milestones with a few friends IRL who have extremely gifted children themselves and who are happy to share knowledge and resources with me and also guide me.
I suggest that you drop telling your friend intimate details of your child's progress and also keep your friendship limited to grown up topics. Gently steer your friend away when she wants to know about your child's successes or your efforts towards it. Make her understand that you value her friendship but do not want to discuss your child in depth any more.
Good luck.
Last edited by ashley; 10/29/13 11:10 AM.
