Hi all,
I'm new here and have been reading lots of post discussions in various areas of the board. Sorry this is so long, but I am at a loss in so many areas.
I have 3 little ones DD7, DD3, DS1. For a few years now I have known my DD7 was different. I often times considered her to be very demanding, intense, and independent to name a few. As a baby she was very observant and content. Once she began walking it was "down hill" from there. By age 3 we were up in arms on how to handle her. She was smart of course but we didn't realize how smart she was in comparison as we thought things she knew were normal for her age. She is very social and loves to be around people young and old.
Her birthday is the cut off and we were told by Pre-K teachers that although intellectually she was ready for K she is petite and may suffer socially as she is also a little immature. They advised we hold her for K and start her at 5/6. We thought that was a good choice and did so as we thought she was a little immature as well and another year she may outgrow it. She didn't. The year was awful for us. She remained in Pre-k and was helping the teacher teach the other students. We began to see some minor behavioral issues at school and minor ones at home. During this time we discovered she had environmental allergies as well as a dairy intolerance and *possible* gluten intolerance. I say possible because we cut out gluten for the year and her behavior got better but I have just learned of reactive hypoglycemia and wonder if that was the fix as many things with gluten are carbs or sugar. We had her tested for celiac disease and it was negative which raises more question on reactive hypoglycemia.
K went ok but she was bored and knew the entire curriculum. It was then we discovered she was reading at at least a 2nd grade level and 3rd by May of this yr. Now we just entered 1st grade and are experiencing "major behavioral issues" according to the teacher. I spoke with the teacher, counselors, asst. principal, principal and most recently director of gifted program in the school board. The teacher says she is giving DD7 challenging work which, I do see the challenge hw but question the classroom work being there are behavior issues going on. All have told me they won't test her until 4th grade or put her in gifted until 4th. DD7 often complains of being bored and waiting for other kids to finish their work. She says some of the work is for babies or K and 1st graders. Which I found a little humorous and raised questions that she didn't group herself with 1st grade as she is one. She is breezing through the challenge hw and at times will get upset that I make her study because she says she knows the work. I quiz her to ensure she does know the work in case she fails the test. She has failed 3 math tests despite knowing the work. The last one she grouped the math problems together in order of numbers (i.e looked for all the 2+1's, then 2+2's etc) instead of doing the work as directed. She knew the answers as DH and I quizzed her the night before. She does the work in her head and despises having to write it out. She is getting sloppy with her work and often time complains of the repetitiveness of it all.
We have a meeting this week with the teacher and counselors which I am sure will be repetitive in that DD7 is being challenged in the classroom, she refuses to do work, talks too much, gets up often, etc. And nothing will be accomplished.
DD7 has not been identified yet as we are looking into it. I am considering pulling her from the school if needed but don't know where to go from there as far as homeschool goes. Such as a school, a curriculum, etc.
The other issue we are facing worse this year is friends. For the past few years we have noticed that DD7 doesn't get invited to neighborhood Bday parties. The neighborhood kids sometimes tease or bully her, leave her out. Sometimes I understand why since DD7 can be emotionally immature or wants to play with them but also be in her own little world.
I know something is off and she is different than other children. At times she fits the PG traits and at others she doesn't. She mainly doesn't fit due to her emotional immaturity. But then when at summer camp she didn't play with any of the kids because she said the teacher was more fun to be around. I'm so confused on what to do, how to handle it all and what to say to her. Sometimes she has a meltdown about friends or situations and other times she doesn't seem to be phased.
We are bringing to experience the same intensity issues with our DD3 that we did with DD7 except DD3 is much more sensitive. DS1 is also very intense, doesn't need much sleep and barely naps. He has been this way since birth. DH and I feel exhausted and overwhelmed as all of this just been discovered. It feels good to know we are not crazy and have "bad or difficult children" as others have suggested.
Thanks for reading if you have gotten this far. Any suggestions and help would be appreciated!
