My ds with DCD plays piano and loves it - even though his finger joints bend totally backwards and inside out and all that while he's playing
He's also playing a band instrument, but it's too early on for me to tell you how successful he'll be at it.
I'll second the advice to go to a music store and let your ds try out any instruments he's interested in. We also rented the band instrument rather than purchase at first, so we could be sure he liked it and was able to play it. FWIW, we also rented our non-DCD kids' band instruments at first too, to be sure they liked them and were able to play them :)).
FWIW, our dd who has vision issues started playing piano at the same time as ds, and she struggled tremendously at first because she couldn't see the music and she also became lost every time she moved her eyes from the music to the keys. None of us knew at the time she couldn't see well.... but once she'd been through VT she made major improvements in her piano skills almost overnight
If your ds wants to learn violin, I'd let him start with it. He may find it difficult, but even NT kids at his age might find it difficult. Don't overthink will it be a problem until it is, and also give him that freedom to try things out without the expectation that it will have to be something he enjoys long-term, just as you would if he was a nt child without challenges. He may find violin is a natural instrument for him and he is passionate about it and it will be a life-long source of pleasure for him. OTOH, maybe he'll try it out and he just won't be able to play it due to his DCD etc. OTOH, maybe he'll try it out and he'll be able to play it a-ok and after a year or so he'll be bored and just won't care. It's just (imo) not possible to predict for any young child that an instrument they choose now is going to be "long-term".
One thing you might do now that you're homeschooling is spend some time listening and learning about all kinds of instruments - or going to listen to an orchestra or band play etc. And if his father is willing, have his father show him some of the technical side of how to play a violin before you actually invest in a student-sized violin, things like that.
I hope he has fun learning whatever instrument you choose!
Best wishes,
polarbear
ps - almost forgot to mention - my DCD ds plays ukulele too (all my kids play) - they got started on it at school, and then found a local group that was specifically for kids learning to play ukulele. It's been fun, and it's been very "doable" for my ds - and ukuleles are a lot smaller and much less expensive than guitars
I think our ukes cost around $45 for a beginner model, and for kids who care - they come in colors lol. So that might be something fun to learn for awhile before moving on to guitar.
I also wonder if you might find a beginner's instrument type group like ukes or recorders etc through a local homeschool group?
