- Grant wishes in fantasy. This one is so not my style, but there were times when it really helped. E.g. "yes, wouldn't it be great if it were your birthday tomorrow? Where would you like to have your party? What would you hope to get?" To my surprise, honestly, far from this fuelling his desire for something impossible, it often was just what was needed. I suppose it's a form of feelings validation: even when you can't give them what they want - and they often know that perfectly well! - it helps to acknowledge that they want it.
This is an excellent point, and one that I often struggle with. Running with the desire sometimes really avoids the tantrum, as long as you don't accidentally imply that it's actually going to happen. (Answering "I wanna go to the movies" with "what do you want to see?" is not a good idea. "Wow, that would be fun, wouldn't it? Maybe we can do that on the weekend / for your birthday / for someone else's birthday / etc. What would you want to see if we went? What do you think the story is going to be for Despicable Me 2 when it comes out? Hey, why don't we draw a storyboard with your ideas?" can totally derail the whole tantrum.) The problem I have with this is that it can suck up a lot of time when you're just trying to get out the door in the morning.
We do this, too, and it really diffuses situations! My dd, at around 3, actually taught me to do this. She said she wanted to do something, and I started to tell her no, and she said, "I know, mom, but I want to talk about it!" So I said, "yeah, that would be fun to go to the zoo, wouldn't it. What would you ride on the carousel?" (or whatever). I still do this with her, and she feels validated even when she can't get her way.
