We take the approach that there's not a single "it" to get. We emphasize that there are many ways to be "smart," that everyone has differences of various kinds, and getting to know all your own differences and appreciate those of others is an important part of growing up.
Our 2E DS has come to be aware of his differences very gradually. We have not focused solely on intellectual ability or academic skills, but have tried hard to make him aware of many kinds of talents. His developing a reasonable self-assessment of his athletic skills (so-so) and other skill sets is as important to me as his understanding his intellectual profile.
We continue to struggle with his knowledge that he is often the quickest learner in a given class; he can be arrogant about this. One thing that's helped is that he has a longtime Scout buddy who has Down's syndrome; liking and understanding the full personhood of someone whose brain works very differently from DS's has been important to him.
DeeDee
