Thanks for all the replies.
I understand that some people need childcare, and so they might as well make it as fulfilling as they can. But I don't see what "academics" could be needed. If all you need to know entering Kindergarten is the alphabet and a few such things like that, you don't really need to go to an educational institution for that. Also I don't get the idea of pre-school as a preparation for the classroom setting of Kindergarten. If children aren't naturally ready for a classroom setting at age 5 or 6, how on Earth are they supposed to be ready for a classroom setting at age 3 or 4? That just doesn't make sense to me at all. And I don't see why it is a better social situation than just interacting with people of all ages at home and in various public places.
One drawback of putting your child in pre-school, that hasn't been mentioned yet, is that if you have a wild, energetic, independent, highly intelligent child, and you put them in an environment with no intellectual expectation, but instead with expectations about how a child is supposed to act, then your child will attract suspicions of having certain disorders, which could lead to misdiagnosis and damaging treatments, medications or other "services". There was no way we would put our children in that situation. Then as our oldest was approaching Kindergarten age, it became clear we had to start homeschooling.
The expectation of a group of 2,3,4 year olds is not the same as for five year olds. They gradually change over time as the maturity and ability of the group changes. Circle time isn't a set time, for example, the teacher is constantly reading the group, and when they're done, they're done. So a class of two year olds might last 30 seconds, kids approaching school age can go for half an hour and gave great group discussions. It's also dependant on the particular group of kids and the weather. The point is that they work in the zone of proximal development, helping the children find strategies to cope in a group setting and improving their executive function gradually, in an age appropriate way.
I don't think you understand what the intellectual expectations are in preschool. Actually, I know you don't because you're saying both that there weren't any and that your son couldn't meet them. It takes brains and experimentation to figure out how to get Jane to give you that book, it's hard to follow other's contributions in circle time, it's hard to remember something and recount it to the teacher (see that reading comprehension thread?). Thinking in 3D with playdough is quite a skill (notice how much they roll and cut shapes instead of 3D stuff? How do you keep from grabbing at snack until the thankyou song is done (marshmallow experiment shows it's strategies that makes the difference)
