It looks like I am going to be the outlier here. My DD8 also has all sorts of "dys-diagnoses" - dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyspraxia, "math disability" (aka dyscalcula), etc along with migraines and anxiety. She was also labeled ADHD-Inattentive but DH and I don't agree with that diagnosis. We believe the tester picked up on what happens when she is shut down from anxiety rather than ADHD. The neuropsych labeled all this as "NLD-ish" - she doesn't really fit the diagnosis because she doesn't have the social aspects you would expect to find. I don't remember if you have looked into the possibility of Nonverbal Learning Disorder for your son. We were told the "ish" label was used for our DD "because it's easier than saying super high verbal along with dyslexia, dygraphia, dyspraxia, math disability, etc." It certainly sounds to me that this could apply to your DS as well. But it also seems that he may have the social issues so it could be even more suitable for you.
Anyway, given all that and some bad experiences in school I have had many, many people suggest that I consider homeschooling. I have realized that the learning disabilities make this impossible for us, though. Neither DH nor I feel that we could possibly meet her needs in terms of the reading, writing or math. We do a ton of enrichment and feed her comprehension strengths but just don't feel we could possibly do what the trained spec ed teachers do for her. I know there are others here on the boards who have made it work but we just feel that with the depth of our DD's challenges (not to mention the complexity of having so many together) makes it impossible for us.
Just the other day DD's psychologist told me that she has become convinced that our current school cannot meet her needs. We discussed all the possible out of district placements available in our state and she does not believe that any of them are appropriate either. She said that it comes to either making it work at the 2E school that I have located a couple of hours away or trying homeschooling along with tutoring. I told her that we could consider homeschooling down the road once DD is up to speed on keyboarding and more fluent decoding and reading but now - we can't do it. She has to have a certain level of independence or we can't make it work.
I know in the past you have posted about how distressing all of this is for your DW. That concerns me - a lot. If she takes on the responsibility for homeschooling I am afraid she will become even more distressed. The reality is that your DS - like my DD - has a great deal of difficulty mastering certain tasks. It is what it is. My DD had 56 points difference between her verbal IQ and her processing speed score. 44 points between verbal and visual perception. She also has no working memory to speak of. These are MAJOR deficits. Very few people in the world are trained to teach kids like this. Most trained educators can't wrap their heads around it. My DD is sweet and kind and generous. She is likable and friendly and easy to get along with. She still has had numerous teachers practically lose their minds figuring out how to teach her. She doesn't fit any mold they have learned about.
My relationship to my DD would likely be damaged pretty significantly if I tried to undertake homeschooling at this point. I wish you all the best and hope you find a solution to your son's incredibly difficult situation. I just want to be sure - as a parent of a child with similar challenges - that someone has pointed out the other side to making this decision. Good luck!
