It's not the number of toys that a child has; it's the willingness with which they were given. If you wanted to give her the 10th or 100th or 1000th princess dress, then that's fine. But if you didn't want to and gave in, then you are spoiling her because she can't trust your word. Consistency of message is the key.
Or so I've read...
I don't think that this is so.
Certianly giving stuff when you don't want to is a problem, but I really do believe that our children are 'drowning' in stuff. This part of the world is living with a very odd relationship to material goods.
At the very least I would say that if your child's room or closet looks like 'too much' to you, then rotate the stuff you do have (and love) by putting most of it in storage.
Second - we have to have personal policies to guide us through the muck. When will we buy stuff? What kind of stuff? How much? For a few years at our house every new 'thing' meant that an old thing had to be given away - or thrown away.
It's hard to make these decisions, but it's wonderful practice! We're going to face a lot more of them as the child grows, and I think we make the way easier for ourselves by practicing now. Will we let our 8 year olds wear make up? Will we let our 11 year olds see horror movies? How often will dinner be from a fast food resturant? How many afterschool activites?
Believe me, we need personal policies, and practice in sticking to them. Having out child see us 'just say no' to appealing things when they are little helps then know that we mean business. BTW - here's another place to practice negotiation with a spouse, and learning to work together. Very often spouse have very different views on what a reasonable personal policy should be.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
