I don't know. I don't think self esteem should have anything to do with how smart you think you are. Anytime one of my kids has remarked they were smarter than...I said "so what? I am taller than...." It only happened when they were under 5 though.
As time goes on, I do explain to them that not everybody is as smart as they are, as hard a worker, as fast a runner, as stable a family, as......, and they need to expect that in their interactions. I try to teach them to support other people. It's through recognizing the value in others, offering help, and support for others to be themselves, that I think our kids develop self esteem.
Comparisons of characteristics does not IMO indicate anything about self esteem, except perhaps a fragile self that could use a little support.
YES! This is such a nice point to make. An individual has value on his/her own merits, and my own internal means of measuring my OWN self-worth should have little to do with how I determine the worth of others.
This seems (to me, as a parent to a highly pro-social/empathetic child) to be the crux of how kind and empathetic people see the world.
