I see communication as an exercise in reciprocity. E.g If I listen supportively (and, usually, enthusiastically!) to you tell me about Johnny's hockey hat trick, then I expect you to listen to me tell you about my son. I'm usually quite effusive about other people's children's accomplishments, and I find this attitude is beautifully contagious.
That being said, I have no problem pointing out when that reciprocity is breached by the (very) occasional bad apple. This may not make me friends, but I don't really care. It's my job to be a loving, supportive parent, not Johnny's mom's "BFF". Maybe I'm more blunt than the average forum member, but I don't feel it's my responsibility to manage someone's inferiority complex if I'm making a disclosure that a reasonable person would find acceptable, even interesting
ETA: I realize that I may temper this position if my son ultimately attends PS, lest he become a pariah because of his zealot mother.
This is pretty much how I handle things, too. I
am genuinely interested in other people if I'm talking to them. So of course, right?
If they are turned off by me being honest in that reciprocity, then I don't feel that I've really lost much, since they probably are not the kind of people that I want ongoing contact with to start with. I really loathe that competitive parenting thing. With every fiber of my being, basically.
I'm well aware of my DD's shortcomings-- she doesn't have to be "best" at anything in particular. I'd like for her to care about personal excellence, and it makes me happy when she is proud of her OWN accomplishments... and I'm proud when she works hard to make something happen for herself. Of course I share that kind of thing. "My kid got her letter from NMSC the other day-- she scored in the top 50K on the PSAT!"
"She landed a competitive internship that she really wanted! I'm thrilled for her!"
"She's loving AP Physics now that she's past mechanics-- I'm so happy that she's found something that really lights her up like that."
"She is working with her older dog at Novice level obedience now and they are doing SO well. I hope that she continues to do Freestyle with the dog, too. They are such hams for a crowd!"
That kind of thing. It isn't that I
avoid discussions of academics-- I just try to avoid direct one-upsmanship. THAT is offensive no matter who is doing it.
