Hi Squirt,
So, first, I want him to at least be on the same page with me to lessen my frustration about which reaction I'll get. And, second, I've read that advocay works much better if the dad attends the meetings, even if does nothing but nod while mom talks (I won't go into the implied sexism here!).
I go to the meetings on my own, summarize for DH, and DH often gives me useful advice/strategy (almost like an "outsider's perspective). When DH used to go to the meetings, I felt tense about all the time they took. If there was a really pressing issue that needed more emphasis, I wouldn't hesitate to bring DH to a meeting--but not for everyday stuff.
