Hi Silverstar, thanks for sharing your experiences. My son is similar in that he gets caught up in his outbursts and loses the ability to think rationally or apply anger management skills. He seems to want to behave better, but once he's off, that's it and only alone or quiet time will calm him down.
We're also dealing with a similar situation with curriculum. He is bored by the material that is being taught in his honors classes, but is overwhelmed by the volume of homework. His honors teacher provides non-stop homework, sometimes 2 hours a night. I find that to be too much, and my son constantly complains about not having enough free time. Part of his problem is that he's easily distracted, has trouble getting started on assignments, and difficulty focusing. But once he gets going, he's fine. Lately, he has had problems in class with rigorously timed assignments, as he usually wants more time to finish his work. He also has trouble with transitions, as once he is digging into a topic, he wants to stay on it for a while.
In addition to his social issues, all of this is leading me to believe that his learning style is not being accommodated by the school. Even in honors classes, they employ a cookie cutter, forced march approach which doesn't allow the kids to pursue their individual interests.
I would not be surprised if your son is bored. Classroom learning is limited and smart, creative kids are too often stifled. Have you tried working with him at home? I've encouraged my kids to use the Khan Academy web site any time they want.
