Mk, my take is that for long term success, he needs the social skills and classroom behaviors more than he needs advanced academics in preschool. Really. I think it's great that he gives a darn what the teacher says, and you can work on loosening up the rule-bound thinking over time. And it's fabulous that there has been so much progress on sitting and listening at circle time-- that will make his life much, much easier in school.
I think it's an unrealistic expectation that fractions or even addition would be taught in a preschool. It's just not going to happen, and honestly, kids this age need other things just as much. How are your DS's play skills? He may even need to be taught to use toys and engage with others, as that is really important throughout the early years. There is a ton of stuff to learn, non-academic and academic, but not all of it has to be learned at the same time. He is not falling behind, nor is he likely to; I'd seriously let this go for a while.
DeeDee
I don't really expect the teacher to teach him anything new, not to mention fractions or anything like that. But I did ask her from the start if she could just expect more from him because he knows a lot. I was hoping that if it was something he already knew, they'd just ask him for the answer, not expecting him to start all the way in the bottom again.
I am amazed how well he's doing! I would think maybe 70-80% of issues that led to the initial PDD-NOS diagnoses are now either gone or almost non-existent! His biggest issue at this point is emotional intensity, which may have nothing to do with PDD. He still has problems connecting with his peers but is no longer uncomfortable with larger groups of kids like he used to be. He still doesn't connect with them but it seems to be a matter of different interests ... in many cases the kids just don't understand what he's saying and how he wants to play ... like when he plays pirates with our friend's daughter talking about "chaps being offshore out on the high sea" ... she had no clue what he was saying (and I have no idea where he gets it! ... probably a mix of video games and Kindle books! lol) so I'm thinking about finding him some activity (at the library maybe), where he could be with kids a year or two older to see how he does with them?
The big advantage I saw in the public preschool when we got him in was school having policies in place to keep him safe given his allergies. But even that's now become a huge frustration because while there are policies in place, they aren't always followed ... such us the class being completely egg-free and nobody allowed to bring anything with eggs in yet on Valentine's day, he came home with a backpack full of candy and candybars where with 4 different things having clearly written eggs on them as allergens! And when I brought it up to his teacher, she didn't understand why I was upset because she checked "everything" to make sure there was nothing with eggs!
I guess I've sidetracked a bit with the allergies issue (and this was not the only allergy related issue we've had) but the fact is, the place that seemed to be the best and safest option for him no longer seems to be what we expected
