I'm confused-- is this a typo? Did you mean that one may "see" priorities? Or a statement that it is possible for parents to shape motivation?
I'm not sure that I agree that such a thing is possible for all kids.
Some kids are their own people from birth-- and NO amount of external pressors exerts much influence on their intrinsic processes without their assent. They are the ones that proudly wear teeshirts that proclaim "I reject your reality and substitute my own!" They aren't oppositional or defiant until you cross their internal agenda... but more like perniciously indifferent.
Persuasive methods may work to a limited degree, but only as far as their perspective and maturity allow them to accept the logic of what they are being told.
The bottom line is that most 10yo's DON'T have reason to believe that studying hard now will seem more important to themselves at 30yo than playing more WoW instead will have. After all, this is really about aligning priorities, not about intrinsic motivation in a general sense. My DD is motivated all right. She's just not motivated in the ways that the adults in her life would prefer.
This has always been a tremendous challenge with my DD. Even as a toddler, you could not do ANYTHING with her that required her active cooperation unless you convinced her first. She was quite logical... but still, she was two/three/four/five, albeit a PG kid. I can recall having to explain to her WHY she should bother to become toilet trained. Truly not kidding; this was a very striking example of something that she saw no particular benefit in, and felt was more about OUR desires than hers.
I could frame this one, because I had the same reaction. Anyone attempting to set priorities for my DD is pretty much setting themselves up for embarrassment.
Anyone attempting to set priorities for me is doing pretty much the same.
You CAN get compliance from either of us, depending on the circumstances, but don't mistake compliance for motivation.
