I'm not sure that how the adults value things ultimately matters, because this is all about how the kids see themselves. Many kids are quick to pick up on the fact that mom and dad have a tendency to add positive spin, and learn to distrust them as a source of information on how well they're doing.
It's the most natural thing in the world for kids to try to measure their progress against their peers. Plus, the idea of competition and rewarding ability is a message that is being broadcast loudly from the rest of our society... other parents, teachers, peers, media, etc.
So yeah, as a parent, you can try to create a certain message, but results will vary.
