I am so frustrated and I don't know what to do about it! (Sorry in advance for the length!)
DD11, who is HG+ and in 7th grade, goes to a very small school and things have been going really well on all fronts. When DD moved from the public schools to this school in 6th grade we were initially told by the principal that her math needs would be met. We provided the school with IQ, achievement, and MAP scores (and a skills ladder of what the scores meant she was ready for). Unfortunately, the teachers (her math teacher and the middle school math coordinator) were not on board with doing anything extra since they have had problems with kids who transition from the public schools in the past and because, after three placement tests where they admitted she did "well," they were worried she would have holes transitioning from Everyday Math to Saxon. Her sixth grade teacher even admitted she wouldn't learn anything in math until December, but said to let her know if she still wanted more after December. We did, and she finally got back to us in January, arranged for another placement test in February, and decdided in February that they couldn't do anything to help her but that we could buy the Saxon book for pre-algebra (with our own money) and give her work out of there on our own. Since DD was in tears about not learning any new math, she was anxious to do it. She worked out of the book on her own (with very very little help from us) and very often did three to four lessons a day in a total of 30-45 minutes a day and completed 105 or so lessons (much further than they get in the actual class). All of this was done with the promise by the middle school math coordinator that DD would then get to do Algebra this year at school.
At the end of 6th grade DD and all her classmates were given a placement test. At this point DD had only worked through the first 30 chapters of pre-algebra, which was mostly review. Still she did well. So, imagine my surprise to find that DD had been registered to take pre-algebra with all of her classmates this fall. We called the school and asked them to honor their promise to let her take algebra, and so they did. And DD has an easy A in the class with the math coordinator as her teacher.
Come to find out yesterday that the teacher/math coordinator -- who, importantly, is also DD's coach, the mother of one of her very best friends, and a friend of mine -- told the other students that the only reason DD was in algebra when everyone else was in prealgebra is that "her parents worked with her at home." Not that she was ready for the work, not that she had already mastered the material, not that she was in the class she needed to be in. And forget the fact that the only reason DD was working at home was that it was their only solution since they wouldn't give her anything at school.
I had thought that it was obvious to everyone that DD was really fitting in, that the work in all her classes is appropriate (she has all As in challenging coursework and she does it almost entirely at school). I am just beyond sad, frustrated, and mad that this person has totally discounted all the "evidence" and chalked it up to "her parents worked with her," which isn't even true. And even if it was, how is that different that what other parents do and what a lot of parents do with sports? And she didn't say it to me; she said it to all DD's friends.
Is there anything I can/should do to correct this misconception? I'm really afraid to say anything because this teacher is likely to be her teacher again after this year and also has a huge influence on DD's team placement in sports. Not to mention that she is someone I have developed a good friendship with -- so I have not talked with her about math at all this year since I thought DD's A in the class spoke for itself and I was trying to avoid mixing personal and professional. Or do I just try to forget this slight and move on. (BTW: I heard about this teacher's comments from another parent who had heard it from her child.)
