gifted kids can be very intense and parenting them has to be a balance of understanding what emotional age you're dealing with at the moment, when it's typical kid stuff, gifted stuff, sensory stuff, possible allergies...it's definitely alot more challenging that a "wash and wear" kid as I like to call them. but you belong to a special club : - )
it's always good to keep reminding your child that you're trying to learn what's behind the melt-downs and that they can help you understand. Thinking of sensory things and also diet is important, and they might need more sleep than other kids. When my DD was in K that's when we found out about how all the dyes affect her behavior and chocolate giving her rashes.
sending a message that you're working hard in your own way every day to help them is very good advice. Sometimes I'd use the word "I'm investigating how to help you" because she loves that word. When I started doing that with DD it really helped our relationship. She still lives to give me a hard time more than anyone else, but also part of that is our two personalities and mother-daughter things. and I think her wanting to be independent but knowing that I'm still needed for her to navigate and deal with things. Not getting drawn into the drama is hard when you're tired, exasperated or out of ideas (or for me, worrying about the big picture and feeling overwhelmed especially if you don't have much support).
@ ABQMom minecraft - aaaaahhhrrr! We are a minecraft household. I'm trying to "use" it to help with time management (minecraft minute points have an equivalency to real life/responsibility points etc), priorities. Her brain just loves it so much, it is very cute but gets on my nerves sometimes.
I liked the adult-perspective description of the sensory issues. I hope when DD talks about this when she's older, an acknowledgement of improvement of understanding and compassion on my part will be included...I do feel like I've gotten better over time. She's definitely gotten more tolerant as well as learned when it's that she's bothered about (especially noise) and not to panic when she understands what's going on. I think that's key - reducing the panic.
I had sensory issues as a kid as well as horrible equilibrium and a ridiculously strong sense of smell (very distracting) but I went internal and was called "sulky" and "a pill" but really I was just often quietly struggling with overload or discomfort of some kind, and loneliness about people's impatience.
