Evemomma, I'm sorry you're having a tough time at school - advocating is never easy (well, maybe it is but I haven't found my "easy" moment yet lol!). I haven't had time to read this full thread, and I'll admit to starting with the most recent post and reading backwards... which means I haven't gotten very far!

There's just one thing I'd add here -

Originally Posted by Evemomma
I'm definitely dealing with the "everyone's the same by third" mentality. Though the school psychogist, who looks so young, did mention that "sometimes kids are always ahead " one time during the meeting. I think she was flying solo on that one.

I've heard a lot of comments on these boards about the "everyone is the same by third grade" attitude... fwiw... third grade was held up with that same kind of magical emphasis in more than a few conversations I had with my ds' K-2 grade teachers, but I've never heard it as a "everyone is the same by third grade". My understanding (from the way our teachers viewed it) was... more of "everyone catches up to reflect where there ability will naturally put them" by third grade. As in, early readers aren't necessarily going to be the most able readers always because some of the kids who just naturally start reading later will catch up and become very competent or perhaps extremely advanced readers. Other kids who aren't ready to sit still and learn but want to still be up bouncing around simply because they are developmentally a little "younger" than the kids who were eager to go to school might very well be one of the highest ability kids in the class. It doesn't mean your child is going to be any "less" able by the time they are in third grade and it doesn't mean that all the other kids will suddenly be able to work at the same levels as *each other* - instead it means that when a teacher works with 25 different kids in a kindergarten class, he/she can't always predict which of those 25 will be the top reader or best math student in junior high, but by third grade teachers are more able to predict who the more able and top performers are because most kids have passed the early developmental milestones and are ready to learn without having to develop attention or motor skills, and the motivation to learn has started to kick in. I saw this reflected in the children that each of my own children's early years of school.

Good luck advocating at school - it's tough, but it's also very worth it!

polarbear