he is starting to tell teacher he is bored, the work is babyish etc, (hey she asks him!) and i am giving my ds lectures on "respect" & what it means etc,
and he comes home other day- "why do you want me to show my teacher respect when she doesn't respect me?" i ask what he means? he replies, "everything is just so babyish. i just want to learn one new thing. she doesn't have any time for me, she is too busy teaching the kids what the letter A sound is"
What I am about to say in no way addresses the need for differentiation, but what you say here brings up an important point.
It is a common issue with kids with autism that they do not recognize the social hierarchy-- that is, that they have to respect teachers more than the teachers have to respect them. What your DS is saying here indicates to me that he may not relate well to teachers even with acceleration, if this issue isn't addressed.
We had to work very hard to get our DS with autism to understand that the relationship is asymmetrical-- he has to act respectful whether he respects the teacher or not.
*i realized then that she is just possibly- totally disregarding/overlooking my son. he's right in front of her 5d/wk, and i realized she has never said anything positive about what he is doing- just points out his flaws like the handwriting or complaining of being bored.
There is usually very little room for differentiation in kindergarten. It is good when alternative reading can be provided (and simple to do), but in-class math work is very hard to differentiate at this early stage.
Teachers *do* notice deficits-- they are tasked with bringing everyone up to the minimum. And I would not ignore fine motor, but use her comments instead to push for school to remediate that.
You should also be aware that when a child with autism says he is "bored" that can mean really "bored" or it can mean "I hate this task and I won't work on it because it's not mastered yet" or it can mean both of these. Just as you are asking your school to address your DS's academic needs, you should also be asking them for help in getting him to adapt to school with a positive attitude and good participation skills. It's unlikely that these things will magically fall into place even when he is placed correctly for his academic skills.
DeeDee