One direction to explore is Carol Dweck's Mindset concept: http://mindsetonline.com/

In essence the idea that ability and talent grows is much more powerful than the idea of having a fixed amount. If you continuously hear "intelligent, talented" you can begin to see these as unchangeable. Then criticism becomes "you are not as intelligent or talented as everyone tells you" instead of becoming "these are the things you can change and improve to continue to grow."