With your ds, I wouldn't fall into the trap of the "everybody hates me". Instead, I would identify for him the underlying feeling "you sound frustrated" for example or "I wonder if that embarrassed you" (which he may adamently deny btw).
I am a perfectionists and a people-pleaser - so I always took criticism very personally. I literally had to LEARN to have fun when I'm losing or when I am terrible st something (bowling, golf) . Not sure if that is your ds' struggle, but my ds inherited my angst. We don't ctiticize after a game (since there's nothing he can change at that point), but we make a strategy before each game to address his pitfalls and meet new goals.
Maybe setting up a "score sheet " (if he's competitive) for him would be fun. Instead of keeping track of hits, runs, goals, assists, give him points for taking a coach's comments in stride, complimenting other player's achievements, calming town quickly when frustrated, finidhing out a hard task, etc. Then he can "buy" things with his points : Redbox movie/game rental, meal out with dad only, free pass got took cleaning, or whatever he's interested in.
