Wren, so very sorry to hear of this. We lost a son in 2010 when ds was 3.5, and it is still a challenge to discuss his brother's death with ds. Death makes no sense (or at least has no order) - and yet we don't want our kids to live in fear. Lately, my ds has been bringing up his brother a lot. Even when it hurts and we don't want to "go there", we let him him talk and affirm his feelings. We never want our kids (my dd doesn't understand yet) to feel they have yo keep these things in. It's hard because my ds wants to discuss the same things over and over. I think our kids help us face grief when it would be do tempting to run and hide.
Ultrmarina...those "feel betterisms" are awful. No one feels that losing their loved one is "for the best" or "part of God's plan" or "ending their suffering". I really wanted yo punch people in the face most days when I heard those things. "I'm sorry " is more genuine.
Yesterday, We were stuck in a traffic jam caused by a very serious accident in the east-bound lanes (we were west-bound). There were three semi trucks involved and two cars (one completely pinned under a semi). Life-flight landed right in front of us as multiple emergency workers used jaws of life to retrieve people from the mashed car. Not everyone made it. It was awful and gruesome - and I was relieved that my kids were engrossed in their Dvd. Some things kids don't ever need to see firsthand.
Last edited by Evemomma; 09/17/12 08:51 AM.
