I've tried to be careful to show that there are exceptions in my thinking, that any child should only be exposed to an advanced topic when she's ready, and that I am not speaking about anyone's situation in particular. This is the sort of valuable discussion that would be much more enjoyable and less stressful to have in person; I think we're dealing with some issues of nuance and restricted bandwidth. I'm not making veiled statements about ultramarina's parenting or anyone else's, but I do have a difference of opinion with her on children's general capacity to handle what's sometimes considered to be harmful information.
The problem seems to be that in discussing what's appropriate to do in general, we each disclose our own value judgments. This can imply a belief that the other is using a wrong parenting approach, no matter how much we disclaim it. All I can say is that I'm as open on this as I can be; I'm not thinking those thoughts.
And you know what, everything you've said makes sense. In theory, I'm right with you. But if they handed you my daughter in the delivery room... and you took her home and raised her... You'd see what I mean. Let's just say our kids our different.
Worth noting is that my husband has tried purposefully to toughen up our kids, and it's helped, but in spite of that I'm still dealing with a daughter who won't let me kill fruit flies and insists that I catch and release them.
