If you search my back posts, I'm pretty sure I've posted several times the list of tests that was used in diagnosing my DS10. There is some overlap with your list, but significant differences too.
I'll have a look (thanks)
I took a parenting course because I was sure it was my fault.
Oh, I know that feeling. For me it started with DS's sister, who's 19 months older. I won't take up too much space with details other than to say she was I.T.E.N.S.E., cognitively precocious, persistent, intense (did I mention that?), emotional, anxious, ritualistic, serious, PERFECTIONISTIC, oh yeah - intense, kinetic, driven, bossy, argumentative, defiant, (can I say intense again, or is that getting old?). She was this old soul GIANT trapped in this tiny, girlie little person. She wore me out. I thought I was going to lose my mind until her grade 2 teacher saved my sanity with some kind words about how different DD really was (ohh PHEW, it's not just me).
Anyway... by the time I was dealing with DS's issues (totally different, of course - no experience to fall back on, again!) ...I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I have challenging children.
ASD is permanent; that's part of its definition, a lifelong impairment. My understanding of ADHD is that that is also a wired-in brain difference with permanent implications. However-- brains do change over time.
Interesting... as in, they can outgrow certain symptoms or learn specific strategies and still have the condition, but with new/other symptoms... I hadn't considered that (thank you!)
My DS at 10 still has autism and he always will. When he was in kindergarten his problems were freaking out and hiding behind the bookcases or fleeing at school and rambling on about the Latin names of clouds to other kindergartners, those sorts of things.
My DS in KG: impulsive, odd sounding speech, chewed everything, spinning, falling out of his desk chair, lying on the floor during circle, day dreaming, fixating on things he was curious about, pathologically curious, pathologically (good word
) friendly to a fault - had no fear of anyone and would leave with strangers, flight risk, inappropriate social responses, LOVED to run (couldn't "walk" with us - either sat down or ran ahead), intense, silly, excessively affectionate - loved to hug and climb onto people's laps, obsessed with taking things apart to see how they work (since 1 yr old), very tactile - MUST TOUCH EVERYTHING, very distractable (unless he was focused on something that interested him, played alone a lot (happily), also wanted to play with other kids but wasn't sure how, declined fidget toys because he was very self-conscious about being different. I could go on and on but I won't. Anyway, you get the idea. Some are classic spectrum things and some are not as much.
He doesn't do those things any more. The problems look totally different, but they are still real: he has problems identifying when a peer is bullying him or just joking around, he gets anxious if he forgets to turn in his homework (and he often does).
Same here. At 8, DS appears to have stopped most of the above. Now we recognize the language processing issues (likely always there), he daydreams excessively, gets emotional, still adores running!, fidgets & squirms, impulsive (but getting better), gets frustrated when he's trying to express himself verbally, gets frustrated when he knows something that others don't, intolerance for repetition, impatient, can be argumentative (i.e. too persistent), great sense of humour but has trouble recognizing the social cues of: "it's stopped being funny." Again I could go on, but you get the idea. Just like your DS he's changed dramatically but still has challenges.
(oh, and he walks with us now!! He still runs ahead but asks first now and stops when I tell him).
ETA: I can't say from my armchair where your DS's language holes come from or how they should be approached, but anyone who knows me knows that I like to use every resource available to identify and work on problems. In your shoes, I'd look for the clearest answers and most appropriate therapies.
DeeDee
Yup, I'm with you there. Thank you
