the work is sometimes "busy" work not quality GT stuff.
Is that your and his overall assessment of the program? Because indeed, it may not be worth the bus ride to him. Commuting is awful IMO. Three hours a day can be spent a lot of other ways.
I just feel like we have this chance to get a more rigorous education and what was the point of the last 4 years GT if he's giving up on it.
If the program he's giving up is busy work, why do you think what he'll get locally is less rigorous? Have you really examined the local options in detail? Will he be placed appropriately, accelerated as necessary? Your description of what's available locally does not sound awful to me.
feeling like some of the other moms/kids still in the GT program are going to think he couldn'd handle it, etc.
What they think doesn't matter.
We have new neighbors that have moved in and the mom will be homeschooling. I am feeling so inferior. I know I can't handle doing this with my 5 kids (probably all GT and a couple 2E.) I feel like I'm failing them because they would get a better education here at home. This mom has no particular reason to homeschool other than she wants to see her kids more. How can I "own" what works for our family and get past not providing the ultimate learning environment for my kids?
Who says that homeschooling is the ultimate learning environment?
For some kids, the challenge of adapting socially to school, being flexible and patient with the pace of other-directed learning, offers lessons that cannot be matched at home. This is certainly true with my 2E. We decided purposefully to keep him enrolled in public school, when HSing would have been "easier" in terms of educational fit; no regrets for us.
Some kids thrive under all that individual attention; for some, it's really better to be independent from parents and finding their own way in the world. Depends on the kid. Some parents are utterly unfitted for HSing. I like my job and would hesitate to give it up to HS (though I thought about it when it seemed like we might pull DS from school). It is okay to have other priorities. It is your life and your family and you get to say what benefits the whole group.
I imagine that you knew when you chose to have five kids that there were certain things that would be challenging about that; I don't think it's useful at this point to beat yourself up because you don't have the resources to do for your kids as if they were all only children. Your family is what it is, your resources are what they are, and you should do what makes sense for your family, not your neighbor's family.
DeeDee
