hmm, guy at corner table writing his thesis... maybe I should pick coffee shops differently... we used to spend more time on campus, I wonder if we'd have better luck at our old coffee shop downtown?
DeHe: The bit about giving the impression that what we do at home is not ok in public... I think that might be the core of my concern. I think I'm not sure if what we do at home is appropriate in public. I think I want it to be appropriate, so I like all the responses that say "ignore 'em." I think, at the end of the day, I'm just not totally sure how private one's personal characteristics are, I guess. Which kinda slips into the "I'm REALLY smart" thread... eek. Should I be teaching my sons that blatant displays of otherness are appropriate in public, or should I be teaching them that such displays should be toned down? Everyone, I think, puts some effort into conforming while in public, more than they do at home. It's a quesion of where the limits are... hmmm
Why does this stuff alwasy turn out to be about me not him?
Thinking about the other thread - I think it's totally different for a kid to say hi my name is, I am so smart, than to have someone else comment on your reading material that you pull out while waiting for your meal. I have had conversations with DS about what people say - did that make you feel uncomfortable - and I am sure he sees my different responses. I have learned from that awful moment at prek when I realized that what he hears me say is the priority and I never want him to hear me showcase his faults so that other people feel more comfortable with his oversized skills. I would rather be silent and left out than have him doubt me or himself.
And thesis guy is choosing to work in a place where people gather to eat, drink and - wait for it - omigosh - TALK. Talking sounds no different from reading (unless of course DS is not exhibitting proper behavior, too excited, too loud, etc). I have absolutely no problem modifying my or DS behavior in terms of etiquette - which is why I reached out here to find out what to do about him announcing he was smart - and I am so glad I did, we had an opening in a conversation and I was prepared with what I had to say and so it didn't feel like a sit down, son we must talk. More organic. And I don't walk around announcing where my son goes to school, but when I do choose to answer that question, people always go, ohhhh, as if to say that explains it, or wow, that's a good school type thing. But I don't offer it up. I think it's appropriate to read in public,or to read to my DS in public.
I think the key in your post is "displays" is reading at the level at which you are a display. I think not. But I suppose it could be, like that Colorado woman showing off her PG son. But again not sure you need to parent because someone you don't know thinks you are showing off, or over the top. Comments will happen - you just cant cover him up so much that his otherness won't be noticed - someone will notice. So if they are rude, respond appropriately, if they are not, master the smile and the thank you!!!
I totally get the it's me not him issue!!! I am constantly having to evaluate what is me and my issue versus a real issue. And the personal favorite, wanting to "fix" behavior or skills because of not wanting him to feels the slings and arrows I did.
DeHe
