@ColinsMum - "...to think about what the next thing DS needs to work on is to get to the next level of responsible-ness, regardless of where he is in absolute terms." I really like that, and it's how I've handled his physical development, I just never thought of applying it to other areas. Thanks!
@Dbat - I recently bought the Misdiagnosis book and found it very helpful, also illuminating for my family tree.
I have some concerns for DS, especially with school, but I'm just going to keep an eye on things and give him some time to mature.
@bobbie and trinaninaphoenix - I like what you said about having higher expectations, but still being supportive when they act their age.
@Michaela - "In any case, I'm always asking him to cut the 8 yr olds some slack on one thing and asking them to cut him some on another ting in one breath." I so know what you mean. I feel like I'm the translator/referee/facilitator for DS's social life.
@Wren - my DS is really high energy too, but he's little enough to get away with a lot of stuff right now... I wonder how things will be in the future, but I'm trying to postpone those worries for now.
@revmom - "...it catches us off guard when they act their ages." Yes, sigh. My parents expected a lot of me growing up, and for the most part, it was fine, but there were a few times I wish things had been different, which is what got me thinking about how I treat DS.
Thanks everyone!
