It seems to me that there's more than one idea that needs to be addressed. Maybe the problem is that you're seeing it all as one thing. I know I do that when I get stuck in a quandary.
I see:
* Cheating (one test; small problem);
* Perfectionism (larger problem that seems to be driving the cheating);
* Blaming yourself for things beyond your control (parent's disease; a common condition felt by responsible parents);
* Thinking something is worse than it is because you're wound up and can't see the forest for the trees (cheating on a spelling test when he felt scared makes your son human, not a pscyhopath
).
Try to see each piece of the puzzle for what it is: its own piece. They fit together, but not always perfectly, and picture can be fuzzy, especially when you're up close to it. So don't worry so much about trying to fix everything in one bit. Start where you think you can have the best impact and move from there. Try to address each problem on its own as best you can. Remember that you aren't perfect either.
Personally, on the cheating issue, I can see that it might be derived from lack of challenge. It's important to get used to getting small things wrong so that you develop a thick skin and aren't afraid to try something even though you might fail. Challenge is also important for developing healthy study habits and healthy expectations. Perhaps this idea could be brought up with the teacher.
I hope this makes sense. I'm kind of sick and it's a bit late.
