If it gives you any comfort, we were in that spot with dd13 when she was younger and she has made it in public school but it hasn't been simple. The exact quote from our district GT coordinator when dd was 7 was,
"highly gifted kids don't last long in the public school system, have you considered homeschooling?"
That was followed, when I pressed further about options with,
"the higher ups in the district are philosophically opposed to meeting your daughter's needs."
My kiddo, too, has a unique personality but is generally a really neat person. She is amazingly single minded and directed, a very "old soul," for want of a better term, and very intense. We have changed schools a few times, homeschooled for a while, grade skipped, subject accelerated, been very involved in advocacy, etc. It is working to an extent, though, in public school.
The middle school years were actually quite good especially b/c the school GT coordinator went way, way out of her way to make it work. She called me every year to talk through teachers, put her in classes with specific kids who were a good fit, split her btwn "teams" of teachers to get her with the right ones, and really helped tremendously. She was underchallenged in certain areas and I see it more in retrospect now that she's in high school. However, it hasn't been such that we can't make it work.
The early years were somewhat harder b/c she was less mature herself and didn't deal well with poor fits. She cried, alienated other students and teachers, and dug her heels in. Now that she's older, she has a much more mature approach to things and is learning the social skills involved in finessing teachers you don't like, etc.
