So starting over, I am looking for help from the experts - got the OT eval (yes DeeDee got it before the meeting!). basically after reading the write up I am wondering if he has dysgraphia.
Caveat: I don't know much about dysgraphia, but we face similar concerns with our younger child and have been down a long road of services with DS9, so I'll weigh in from that perspective.
But I find myself feeling a bit defensive and argumentative about the report - in that it was hard to read, and that some things sound so much worse than what we see, so are we excusing it or are they making it sound worse.
It is never nice to hear that someone thinks there is something "wrong" or "different" about your child. The defensiveness is something you'll have to work through, but I'd say, try not to let it affect your judgment.
Services need not be stigmatizing; and more help sooner can be a real blessing for a kid who's struggling with a particular skill.
In my limited experience, if school identifies problems, they are likely real. (Schools tend to under-identify rather than over-identify issues.) My default position is to accept what services are on offer and give school a chance to try to help. If you find that it's not working, you can always quit accepting the services later.
And then what do I do in the meeting - I am worried that my natural instincts to lead the conversation and defend DS are inappropriate but am also worried that he does need defending and advocating because some of the things cited are absolutely because he is bored - which I know I can't mention!
Well, this can be hard to untangle. For my elder DS, boredom played a role, but the other issues (in his case AS and attention issues) were real and limited his participation more than the boredom did in the early grades. It was around 3rd grade that the balance shifted, where the boredom started to match or exceed the disability as the thing that urgently needed addressing. Both were important, but it was key not to overlook the disability.
I think it's OK to mention in a meeting that your DS likes to be challenged with new and difficult material, and to ask the teachers whether they see better compliance on certain kinds of assignments than others.
I'd be wary of chalking issues of writing and assignment compliance up to giftedness alone. Better to assume there's something to remediate, and work on it, than to risk leaving a real issue to fester for later. Compliance with instructions is itself an important skill.
So what do I want for DS - in school OT, out of school OT, what kind of accommodations would he need - do we need further diagnoses? I want him to feel confident in his writing, I want him on par with his peers, I want him easily able to express himself and do it independently.
I think you see what the meeting turns up, and see what they offer to try to work on the problems, and see whether it seems accurate and sufficient to you. Then you can decide whether to pursue an outside opinion and/or treatment. If you are uncomfortable with the findings, I'd say pursue an outside opinion-- just for your peace of mind.
Hang in there,
DeeDee
