Of course, this is from the perspective of someone who would not undertake any of the choices that you listed (move to a different city, etc.) for my "gifted" children although I would (and have) considered them for my "special needs" child.
I feel this way as well (also having special needs and gifted). Although I obviously want the giftedness to be addressed, it definitely doesn't rise to the level of what I feel we must have in terms of the IEP issues. The NUMATS ceremony is short, but within a longer day of activities. The graduation ceremony and lunch afterwards (with grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc...) will defintely overlap, especially given the two-hour roundtrip.
But, I'm getting over it. 
I think it was just the initial disappointment. Everyone here has helped me get some perspective!
