I completely sympathize. Personally I have mostly made peace with that particularly issue. You can only do your best. Of course, this is from the perspective of someone who would not undertake any of the choices that you listed (move to a different city, etc.) for my "gifted" children although I would (and have) considered them for my "special needs" child.
I understand where you are coming from. There are certainly so much more I can do for my gifted children but my special needs child needs and gets 90% of my time (when I am not working) because that commitment can make the ultimate difference in his future. Interestingly, in some ways, that has been beneficial to my gifted children - they are independent, self-reliant and can self-advocate.
I have no experience with NUMATS, but we did go to the CTY ceremony last year. Neither I nor my kdis (both qualified) would make sacrifices to go again. In fact, we were traveling the week before and had I not been able to get that last flight home that Saturday night we would not have made it in time for the ceremony on Sunday morning.
Anyhow, we don't have the Explore scores yet, but I don't think (I'll have to check) the talent search we went through even has a ceremony so that was not a big deal to begin with for us. If it is a big deal for your ds or your family, might there be a chance that the times for the ceremony may not overlap? The CTY ceremony was very short (1 to 1 1/2 hours)and in the morning.
