Perhaps it's just me, but I think a lot of their reaction comes from your behavior. It comes across to me that you felt some sort of guilt/shame over your daughter's ability. Why?

Just be straight forward and proud of her. If they ask questions, answer them honestly. If they are terrible people I suppose they'll respond badly, but that's on them. However, if *you* behave is something is wrong/bad/shameful, they will respond in kind.

~amy