Disclaimer: I don't have a child with Asperger's, so I'm not an expert. I do have two 2e kiddos though, and one who's been misdiagnosed as ADHD at one point.
My suggestion is, you have questions, so chances are something's up that's more than just giftedness or ADHD, so I would move forward to try to figure out what it is. It might be Asperger's, it might be something else entirely, or maybe it's nothing.
Can I trust them to do a good job with a highly gifted child?
Whether or not you can trust your school to give a good eval is going to depend mostly on your school staff and school district philosophy, but from my perspective the benefit of having the extra data/observation/info on your ds most likely outweighs any concerns, especially if you are in a position where you can't pursue a private eval.
Pro: a shortcut way to explain quirks to teachers
Con: do we really need another label? we already have dyslexia, adhd
I don't see it as a "do we need another label" - I see it as a label describes a diagnosis describes the behaviors/symptoms/concerns - and that's what you need, a better understanding of the things that are concerns. It's not just you that needs the clarification, and it's not just the teachers who work with your ds, it's your ds who will benefit from having that clarity and understanding.
I also think that there is no short-cut way to explain 2e kids to their teachers - we can try our best to summarize, be brief, be clear, but we are still going to need to be able to explain in detail and be tuned in with what's happening at school to help see problems as they arise and help find ways around challenges, until our kids are mature enough to take over advocating for themselves. We'll be teaching our kids all along the way - teaching them how to stand up for themselves and be their own best advocates.
Pro: if he needed it, he could (maybe) more easily get speech therapy, OT, PT
This varies from school district to school district, but it's definitely true here. However - I think rather than chasing a diagnosis to get services, it's more straightforward to request an eval stating what services you think your ds needs.
Con: What if he's misdiagnosed?
If he's misdiagnosed, you'll figure that out over time and you'll seek ways to prove the diagnosis doesn't fit, you'll advocate, share what you know with your ds and with the school and life will go on. Even if it's a correct diagnosis, your ds' needs are going to change over time and no matter what the diagnosis, you are going to be advocating for his needs. The diagnosis just helps understand the context that the needs fit into and how to meet them. If you find along the way the diagnosis is wrong, that's just more info.
In other words, it's all a journey. And a long one at that!
polarbear
