Our soon-to-be-8 dd is much the same - in fact, I'd say everything you wrote I could have written about her... up until the pop star part! Our dd instead wants to be the superstar academic... but that may be mostly a function of being a little sister to an extremely EG older brother to "compete" with (please note, it's only dd who's competing, everyone else in our family is on the extreme side of mellow!).
I don't really have any advice for you - for our dd, there was more than just the need to be in control and perfect and all that going on - she also has a challenge with associative memory, so for her, sometimes when the facts as she sees them aren't really the truth of what happened, it's genuinely a case of her not having the memory link in place. Other times she is clearly in full control of her brain synapses but just doesn't want to get in trouble and/or wants to be fully in charge. We are having her see a counselor this spring to help her deal with her anxieties, and the counselor gave us a technique that does help in situations where dd is saying things that aren't true as a way of feeling like she's staying in control. It actually works for our dd! Here's how it goes:
dd blurts out something we know isn't the truth
we tell her, "Sometimes all of us say things we accidentally don't mean to say. We get excited and the words just rush out before we have time to really think about what we are going to say. It sounds like that just happened to you. I'm going to give you three minutes to think about it, and then we'll start over again. It won't matter what you said before. After three minutes you can tell me what you actually wanted to say, and I'll listen."
Once we started this technique, dd not only responded well in the moment, but it cut down overall (dramatically) the number of times she got into the controlling behavior and extreme frustration over not always being "right".
Best wishes,
polarbear
