2giftgirls
wow that does sound exhausting. I don't have any words of advice for dealing with the mom - in fact I am not sure I would handle it directly as its the rare parent who takes to heart accusations against their kid that they did not see.
However, with the kid, I have seen this, my DS was just destroyed by two mean girls in pre-k exercising this behavior and they LOVED to come up to parents who were watching them play and say so and so did this, is doing this, etc. I and other parents started saying things like, oh I am sorry to hear that. And then nothing. Yes, that must have been upsetting, and then nothing. oh are you hurt? And then nothing. So there was no follow up from the parent toward kid b. We did not demand kid B explain, or go find out what happened. Basically, we acknowledged Kid A, yes we hear you, but then took no action - unless of course something serious was accused or witnessed by a parent. They were merciless and it was twofold - 1) to get kid B in trouble but 2) to get the parent attention. I found it was necessary to deny both - and maybe it will lower your stress level too!
DeHe
