Originally Posted by ABQMom
If you put yourself in this mindset, you do the following:

Keep them talking about themselves, not actual topics like politics. People love to talk about their own lives and experiences, and kids can often learn sme interesting things about family history that will help build a bit of a bond where there is little common ground.

Bite your tongue when what you view as unenlightened comments are made. A reporter knows that the best way to clam up an interviewee is to correct or challenge them.

It's at most a few hours, and learning tolerance for others who may not show tolerance to us is a wonderful gift to give our children - especially our gifted kids who may struggle with tolerating their peers.

Great post!

At a certain point you have to decide. What role, if any, do you want these people to play in your life. You've clearly determined these are not people you will share your intimate feelings and life story with. Okay, come to peace with that. Realize it and share that part of yourself with people you choose rather than people who you happen to be related to. Once you've decided that figure out if you feel like you can be comfortable with polite chit chat for a holiday now and then. Use it as an opportunity to develop skills like abqmom suggests. If they really can't be tolerated for an afternoon maybe it is time to stop seeing them.

Perhaps Googling small talk and preparing a few comments and questions would be helpful. "Do you have a favorite Christmas story or memory?" "What was great grandpa like, I never met him..." etc. Weather, changes in town like new buildings, recipes, compliments, and yes, sports. Even if you aren't particularly interested in it, it isn't a terrible thing to learn to participate in regular, polite chitchat.

I understand your son has trouble with his scoliosis brace, but I don't think that makes it appropriate to refuse to hear about happy parts of other people's lives. While I sympathize with his struggle, as a parent I would not be okay with being in such a negative place that you can't be happy for other people's happiness. This may be a good opportunity to learn some new habits of the mind.


Last edited by passthepotatoes; 12/30/11 11:22 PM.