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Lori, having grown up in the middle of the Baptist bible belt, and having hightailed it out of there as soon as I got my college acceptance letters, I can only say that I understand how you and your son feel. Thankfully, my family is small, and my immediate family not particularly religious, so I didn't have to deal with it at family gatherings. I just dealt with it culturally. I can't really talk about the southern Baptist mentality because it's so closed-minded and judgmental, that I can't help feeling the same way back at them. If your family tongue-ties you to the extent that you've described, I feel that whatever you and your son can do to cope, including phones at the table, is a worthwhile activity. It sounds like your son is exposed to the rest of the enlightened world (and I mean enlightened by intelligence and open-mindedness, not by Jesus's grace) when he is away from family, and understands that your extended family is not representative of the world at large. That's important.

I should also state, lest I offend, that although I use the words "southern Baptist mentality," I do not mean to disparage an entire religion, but rather a culture of judgment and closed-mindedness that is often associated with Christianity in general in the particular part of the south that I grew up in. I respect all people's right to their religious beliefs. I just disagree with those who use their beliefs to judge and disparage others.