My DD6 (almost 7)is the totally empathetic, sympathetic child who always goes up to the kids who are sad or isolated and tries to make them feel like a part of things - or at least that they have a friend. I decided to ask her for some input. For what it's worth here is what she said:
Q "What would you suggest for a boy who is interested in different things than the other kids in his class and feels like he has no friends."
A "Tell him just to smile and be nice. He doesn't need to force it."
Q "If you had a kid in your class who used to throw a lot of tantrums but recently stopped how long would it take you to be comfortable around him?"
A "Oh that would take a loooong time..."
Not sure if this helps but thought I would let you know. Have you talked to the school psychologist or social worker? They may be able to facilitate some small group work with handpicked kids similar to my DD. I bet if your ds felt he had even one friend at school he would be a whole lot happier. They could probably also work with him on the social skills needed to have more give and take conversations. Those one-sided lectures can be pretty taxing even for the most patient listener.
FWIW I second (or third?) the suggestions to make sure his doctor knows about his sadness, look at extracurricular activities where he may make friends with at least one thing in common and see if you can find a solution to the transportation issue for the Montessori school. My dd ended up clinically anxious last year but is loving school this year. A change of environment (with a supportive administration and really good teacher) can make a huge difference.
Hang in there and give him a hug for me.
