She likes to adhere to her own routine (which she doesn't describe in advance) and kind of freaks out if I deviate from her plans. Also if she "messes up" while painting she will melt down. Thank you everyone for the book suggestions.
My guess is that in addition to being gifted, she is 'Intense.' So here's another Book suggestion for parenting Intense kids -
"Transforming the Difficult Child Workbook" by Lisa Bravo.
I would also encourage you to use us to brainstorm ways of getting her 'internal plan' out into the open. For example, can you cut out pictures of her common activities and put them onto index cards (I used clear packing tape to strengthen and attach the pictures) and let her sort them into the order she is planning to do them it?
I can tell you that I get a little 'gulp' feeling over the idea that you can't at least split the decision making about how the day is going to go for fear that she'll melt down. If you can't get to a place where there is a daily schedule that suits you in place, using the ideas in 'Transforming' then I'd get some help. I'm sort of one of those 'flexible' sorts of parents, so if it was all the same to me if my son ate breakfast first or got dressed first I didn't give a fig. But it's so easy to slide from flexible into 'I'm accomidating him so he doesn't melt down.'
So maybe I misunderstood what you meant to say. If so - sorry! If not, let's get into some details and brainstorm, ok?
Love and More Love,
Grinity
