This has been bouncing around my head for awhile, so I'm glad that Ultramarina brought it up.
In our household, I've looked at the issue in terms of when "scaffolding" becomes a "crutch."
My DS10 started 7th grade this year -- first year of jr. high in our district -- so I had ample scaffolding in place to help him adjust to the shock of several teachers per day, no recess and considerably more homework than he's seen before.
I have always helped with homework, but this assistance is limited to checking work for accuracy. It's up to him to come to me if he has questions, and even then, I dole out the help in as tiny bites as possible.
It is important in my mind, however, that he gets the work 100% correct before turning it in. Not so much because of the homework grade, but instead because I want him properly prepared for quizzes and tests.
One thing I've stopped doing is pointing out the specific errors, especially in math. I did this because my "scaffolding" had definitely become a "crutch" in that he was racing through his math homework, hoping his rush job would get everything correct, and then he'd simply go back over the problems that needed more effort. This really became frustrating for me so I simply began kicking back the entire assignment telling him only that some were wrong without saying which ones or how many.
Ha.
This turned the tables on frustration and quickly weaned him of the rush jobs. His first-round efforts have improved dramatically as a result. Success!!
(Poor kid. He hasn't figured out that his teacher doesn't record grades for homework --it's simply "complete" or "incomplete.")
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In writing, though, I've not taken down too much scaffolding. I'm very disappointed with the teacher's feedback and believe she's too easy on him. Her idea of an A paper is far removed from mine. Because of this, I work with him on every paper so that I am satisfied with the outcome, knowing that she will accept much less. I remember my essays being positively destroyed by my teachers -- virtual seas of red ink -- and am stunned to see his papers returned with nary a comment beyond, "Nice work!" I really wish she'd spend more time critiquing so that he hears it from someone other than me.
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I'm curious to see where the year ends up and how much I'm really able to back off everything. I'm already trimming back my constant reminders and have replaced most with a checklist that he must review each morning and evening -- so far so good. (He's somehow managed to lose only a single piece of paper in these first three months of school -- that's a huge success!)
I consider homework very important - if nothing else, it's certainly teaching him about time-management. My parents' entire involvement was simply, "Is it done?" And too often I'd say, "Yup," hoping I'd figure out a way to tackle it in the morning before class. That was likely where I began the keen development of my procrastination habits.
