It sounds to me like there might be more than one possible explanation here. It may be that her English reading isn't up for the challenge, but it also may be that she has a preconceived notion of him as far as age, abilities, and needs, which she's clinging to fairly stubbornly, and is only being reinforced when he doesn't communicate with her effectively.
If it's the latter, there may be an opportunity there through communication to resolve this. But you need to be very clear, because it sounds like maybe you've been trying to say this delicately, and she's ignoring that approach. So say something like, "There needs to be a new approach here, because there are some issues between you two that need to be worked out."
Then establish some rules, like:
- Don't give orders without explaining WHY they're being given.
- If he brings you a book, he needs you to READ the book to him.
etc.
Of course, this is coming from someone who wouldn't even let his MOM babysit his toddler without first extracting a promise she'd do everything just like we did... because at that age, consistency is terribly important.
